Trash Red

I first noticed this disturbing trend on Valentine's Day...at the bar in a very nice sushi place. I looked around and saw three women wearing various versions of this horrendous color I refer to as "TRASH RED."

I'd add a pic here, but due to variations in color in photos, lighting, and screen, I don't want to risk insulting the other shades of red. I'll just describe it as everything that can go wrong with red all rolled into one eye-offending shade: orange-y, cheap, faded, bad fabric...just vulgar.

It also makes the wearer appear cheap, vulgar, trashy, and easy. And much like an eyesore home in a ritzy neighborhood brings down property values, TRASH RED brings down any sort of label status your other garments may have. Prada, Chanel, Oscar de la Renta, Louis Vuitton...bah! You are no match for the TRASH RED.

I was sort of hoping these ladies were misguided in their attempts to theme out their outfits to match Valentines Day. But alas, I should have realized that three random girls in the same room wearing that exact shade was more than a coincidence. As I feared, TRASH RED is now a trend and many TRASH RED garments are being produced and are available to the public en masse.

Do not fall this ladies...I don't care how classy you are, no one can pull this off. The TRASH RED will make you look like a hussy.