The Laws of Footwear

To be fair, I must preface this blog by saying:
I will wear UGGs, knee socks, and too-high heels with everything until the day I die.

Random Footwear Observations I've made of late:

Wearing black ankle boots makes you look like a witch. Especially with skirts, shorts, or (saints-preserve-us!) capris.

Ankle boots of any other color only work if you are under 20. And really, not even then in my book. It's just that if you're under 20, you didn't live through the 80s, and we all know how young'uns these days insist on making their own mistakes. But the rest of you SHOULD KNOW BETTER. For shame!

Dark leather/faux leather/suede knee high boots look trashy on white girls unless they are worn with tights. Sorry, white girls.

ENOUGH with the gladiator sandals. They are henious and look like a jealous pageant dress-slasher got loose in your closet and attacked your shoe collection.

Flip Flops DO NOT go with everything. Please, for the love of God, stop.

Clear platform heels are for strippers only.

I'm not even addressing Crocs. You need more help than I can give, my friend, if you own a pair and have allowed them to see the light of day.