I am a Traitor

My family is currently on our 5th generation of Auburn Tigers. When I was 18 I made the controversial decision to attend the University of Georgia. To those of you not well-versed in SEC history, the Georgia/Auburn rivalry is one of oldest and most bitter in the conference. So I've taken a lot of good-natured flack from my family since college. But my Auburn dad has always given me a ticket to the game when I could go, and we've always been taught that everyone has the right to cheer for their team, and have never publicly trash-talked the other fans, etc. which is way more than I can say for a lot of other team's fans (hello, LSU, Florida).

It was always really embarrassing for me to accompany my family to the Auburn/GA game hosted in Athens, dressed in my red and black, and hear drunk fans heckling my family members. I'm not saying every team doesn't have some of those fans. But I have often been to Auburn for this game, also wearing red and black, and never been treated half as rudely as my family was on our home turf.

Fast forward to 2010...I've suffered through a disappointing Georgia season. Meanwhile, Auburn is having an incredible undefeated season, a place in the SEC Championship game, and a shot at the BCS title game. I'm happy for them, and for my two brothers at Auburn.

My dad gave me a ticket to the Auburn game, and I wore my Auburn gear and had a great time tailgating with my Auburn friends and family. I was quietly rooting for my Dawgs and was proud of their showing at the game except for all the trash at the end which did come from BOTH TEAMS.

After the game, checking my facebook page felt like walking through a crowd of opposing fans...guys, keep that stuff off my wall, please. I know you didn't mean it personally, but it's hard not to take it that way. It's a lot easier to be the lone DAWG in a Tiger family when I'm proud of my own team and fans, and not being heckled by them for wearing a damn Tshirt.

LOVE YOU ALL!!!

A

Pants are not optional

I'm halfway through the workday, and have already been flashed TWICE. By buttcheeks and cameltoe. PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!!!!

One girl came into the office this morning in a dance leotard and hot pants (and I'm using the word "pants" in "hotpants" loosely). I assumed she was a resident coming in from the fitness salon, but no, she was wearing this outfit to prance around town looking at apartments!

The second girl came in wearing a long-sleeved shirt, boots, and black underwear. I kid you not. I saw her buttcheeks from the back and also now know exactly what kind of bikini wax she gets.

I know this is a big Lady Gaga trend, but she is a strange performing artist who also wears raw meat. Is this really the type of person you want to draw on for fashion inspiration? And it's not Halloween yet. So Ladies, have some self-respect...or at least think about the other people around you. There are "Gentlemen's Clubs" for this kind of thing.

INAPPROPRIATE.

xoxo,

April B

There's no place like home...

Coming back to the South pretty often is the only thing that keeps me sane living in Hollywood. Here are some highlights from my trip:

My Mom, commenting on the new spotlights on the church across the street that also apparently shine into our windows at night: "I'd like to shoot their lights out. Do you think anyone would know it was me?"

Haircut from my stylist here. (I recently cheated on him with an L.A. colorist, but he forgave me.)

My dad using my new favorite swear word: "You-know-what-ers!" (same number of syllables, but safe for the ears of small children!)

A really good sweat on a really hot day for the first time all summer!

Attending an SEC conference game...no one does college football like the South.

The woman behind me at the game yelling "Aw, SHUCKS!!!" everytime we had a bad play, bad call, etc. It sounded way worse than the four-letter version.

Thunderstorm!

Catching up on all the small town gossip, who's pregnant, who's cheating, who got a DUI and magically no fines, jailtime, or consequences of any sort, and other scandals. The only thing the paparazzi has that this grapevine doesn't is photographic evidence.

Time with my best friends and family, and finally going to Friday night Mexican with Amy & Vilas.

Getting off the phone with work and my Mom telling me, "You have a different accent when you talk to those people."

Finding out I'm booked on a November shoot here in GA. I always feel better getting on the plane knowing when I'll be back home!

My favorite part of the VMAs

I'm completely IMMUNE to Bieber Fever, so when he came on to do his thing at the VMAs, I put the TV on mute and my iPod on the WAY COOLER Katy Perry's "Teenage Dream" (note: I was on the treadmill). Juddy-buddy's choreography was strangely in sync with Katy's music...if you're really bored you should watch his performance on YouTube while listening to "Teenage Dream." It's really hilarious. What? You don't have "Teenage Dream" in your iTunes???? Okay fine. I listen to the same music as 14-year-olds. Except for Justin Bieber.

Oh, right! I have a blog

My apologies to you little blog, and to my 15 followers, if any of you are still checking back after weeks of nothing. My Dawgs are taking a whipping from that (game) Cock Spurrier, but after I recover from that I promise more fun posts more often!

I'm breaking up with Nordstrom

Dear Nordstrom @ the Grove,

Um, WHERE are the petite dresses? Who decided it was okay to eliminate that section? What am I supposed to wear to work now, PANTS???? This is not okay with me. Not cool at all. Way to discriminate against short people.

Grrrrrr,

Me

P.S. If this is some manipulative plot to force me to use your alterations department, you can forget it.

De-coding Dress Codes

I've always been under the impression that "dress code" was an attempt to help people choose an appropriate outfit and show up feeling like a million bucks, or at least wear something they knew would be in keeping with the event/restruant/party they are attending so as not to embarrass themselves or make others uncomfortable.

If you're from the South, you probably also had the added benefit of education by your mom/grandmother, even dad who would let you know in no uncertain terms if you were inappropriately dressed and would NOT let you leave the house until you were...(One of the most embarrassing incidents of my teenage years was my dad telling me he could see my PINK BRA through my dress and to either change that or the dress immediately).

Anyway, Dress Codes are apparently not what they used to be...instead of clarifying what to wear, they just seem to make it more difficult...here are some I've encountered just over the last year:

Dressy Casual (my favorite oxymoron)

Cocktail Casual

Hollywood Sexy (huh?)

Smart Casual

Casual Sophistication

"Festive" (this gives me nightmares)

Retro Cocktail Chic (is it a costume party?)

Smart Elegant

Texas Black Tie (belt buckle, spurs, cowboy hat with a tux? Maybe?)

Comfortable Cocktail (?)

I feel we could debate the meaning of any one of these for hours and come up with no solid answer.

No wonder celebrities have such a hard time on the red carpet these days.

Check one off my Fashionista Bucket List

I have always had a "list" of look-enhancing things I want to try...it includes such things as laser treatments, mink eyelash extensions, super expensive beauty creams, etc. So naturally I was THRILLED when my stylist offered to put in hair extensions for my birthday. Those have been on the list for years.

Since Mark, the Stylist Extraordinaire, and I are separated by a continent and I trust no one else to touch my hair, I hesitated for a second when he broke out the glue...I've never done anything more permanent than highlights to my look and I like to be versatile. But I was really sure I wanted to try them, so he put them in and they looked amazing!!!

But then reality set in. The first time was when I washed my hair...it pulled and hurt like when your mama combs your hair when you're 5 and being bratty during bath time.

I then realized I had severely limited my hairstyling options to the two that don't show where the extensions are attached...down and low pony tail. Also, I can't air dry my hair because my real hair and the extensions dry differently. Bottom line...they're really fun, but the party's over and I want them out.

But alas, the extensions are not budging. Mark told me acetone and oil will break down the glue, so every time I wash my hair I attack them with nail polish remover and a hot oil treatment. So far, the extensions are winning. I know eventually they will surrender. I just hope they don't take the hair they're attached to with them (although Mark assures me this will not happen).

So the verdict is that I love the extensions, but in a hot-summer-fling sort of way. And right now, baby, I need my space. If I can ever disentangle myself from this relationship, I will definitely stick to the clip-in kind next time. Because at the end of the day, the version of me I love the most is me au naturale.

**This experience has definitely settled the "should-I-or shouldn't-I-get-a-boob-job" question once and for all.

Comfy sweats with Zippers: an Oxymoron

Thanks to Chi Blackwood for today's topic...I love requests!

So this is sort of a debate. Are sweatpants still sweatpants if they have zippers?

Fortunately, the manufacturer, J-Crew, has provided us with the proper nomenclature for this: "the Un-sweatpant."

The "un" apparently referring to the slimmer cut of the pant and ankle zippers.

Because who hasn't sometimes wished, "Geez, these sweatpants are really comfy but I wish there was some way I could make them TIGHTER."

Leggings perhaps? Or stick with your sweats. Because these pants are confusing...and kinda fugly.

How to shop at Target and look like a Million Bucks...

After I discovered this disturbing garment in Target, I really felt it needed to be addressed:

(and I apologize for it's sideways-ness, but I am not yet adept in the ways of the macbook...besides, this angle is slightly less offensive :-)

I can't even address this right now....I've called for a boycott of these particular leggings, and thanks to all of you who have joined my cause.

But I get it...we are in midst of a recession, and if you have money to buy new clothes to begin with, you're probably headed to some of the less expensive sources.

So...for those of you on a limited budget who want to get the most for your money, here are my guidelines for shopping cheap without looking that way:

1. If you are shopping at a major chain, i.e. Target, Old Navy, Gap, or any outlet, DO NOT BUY PRINTS. All of these stores only have about 5 prints at any given time, so if you wear it you're extremely likely to run into others who are wearing the same thing...especially because these types of stores are all over the country and have the SAME things no matter where you are located. Plus, everyone who shops there will recognize it, even if they didn't buy it too.

2. Save around 10% of your clothing budget for a tailor. That's the difference in looking passable and looking amazing!

3. Try to buy solids in basic colors and use accessories to change the look up...necklaces, earrings, purses, shoes, tights, (knee-socks, anyone? :-) can define the formality of the look more than your actual dress, skirt, whatever. Bonus: most people won't recognize your basic black dress or top when it's paired with something totally different than you wore it with last week.

4. Fabric is really important...you can get away with less expensive denim, cotton, and some knits. But don't try to buy a formal gown or a silky top at one of these stores. That cheap silky stuff screams "cheap silk-imposter polyester!!!" If the fabric looks cheap, move on.

5. TRY IT ON BEFORE YOU BUY... and check to be sure the garment is properly lined, seams and hems are straight, buttons properly attached, etc.

****And for the love of all that is holy, DO NOT BUY THOSE LEGGINGS*****

Happy shopping!

I'm quoted!!!!

I'm so excited that stylist extraordinaire Catherine Collins invited me to contribute to her blog this week!

The topic...Wife Beaters. Are they sexy? Catherine says H to the No. I say yes, but with a HUGE disclaimer.

Read what we came up with here.

Because if anyone is an expert on who can and can't pull off a Wife Beater, it's your resident small town Southern Belle, right?

Here are the Cliff's notes of guide:

1. Do not accessorize the wife beater...i.e. chains, medallions, and sideways baseball caps.
2. Groom yourself. If you're a hairy guy, then find another style.
3. You must be in great shape: no excess fat, no excess skinniness, and visible abs, shoulders, biceps, and lats.
4. Wife Beaters are only acceptable at the gym or if you are doing a manly chore for your lady (changing the oil, fixing the car, assembling a piece of furniture, mowing the lawn, etc.).
5. No stains, holes, rips, or tears (unless they were sustained from one of the above manly chores).
6. The only acceptable colors are black, white, or gray. No logos, and PLEASE no neon!
7. If you have any doubts about whether or not you can pull it off, then follow your instincts and don't!

I only personally know about 5 guys who can pull this off, and even most of those elect not to, so proceed with caution.

xoxo,

April

The one for Joe Spina

It takes a real man to admit he reads a Fashion Blog...so this is for (and inspired by) my buddy and pretty awesome guy, Joe Spina.

On a fun night out a couple of weeks ago, someone whipped out a camera for a quick photo. My natural reflexes kicked and and I immediately whipped out my compact.

Joe: "Are you powdering your nose before a picture?"

Me: "Um, always!!"

And I'll always do a lipstick check too. Because, people, this is the age of Instant Facebook Tags.

***Stay tuned ladies, Joe also revealed to me his list of top ten sexy body parts on a woman, which I will feature in an upcoming blog.
And NO, boobs did not make the list. xoxo, Joe!

How to wear JLeggings

JLeggings are that awful hybrid of leggings trying to masquerade as pants by appearing to be really, really, really tight jeans.

Until now, my official view on all things concerning leggings has been: "I have nothing against leggings as long as I'm not being forced to see every nook and cellulite-induced cranny of your backside...PLEASE just wear a long enough shirt to cover those issues..." Translation: jleggings are not the answer.

But Y'ALL...I bought a pair last week. YES you read right. I KNOW I CAN'T BELIEVE IT EITHER. But I promise they work. And after extensive research in front of a three-way mirror, here is why:

1. The fabric is actual denim with just enough stretch that they don't need a zipper. The acceptable ratio is 95% cotton/polyester (read: denim for those of you that didn't take TEXTILES 101 in college) 5% or less lycra/spandex.

2. A Dark Wash...hides your VPL, and any lumpiness :-)

3. It comes in a number size. As in 2, 4, 6, etc, NOT xs, small, med, etc.

4. They are not too tight, small, or short...to ensure the right fit check for muffin top and length (at least to your ankle bone).

Okay, leggings, you win this one.

Another Postscript...

Club #314 is up to their old tricks again. (And I wish I could take credit for the nickname, but that is actually the name of their wireless network).

Last night my room was literally shaking with their music, so I went out on the porch to ask them to turn it down a little. Not OFF, just down, and preferably not RIGHT NEXT TO MY BEDROOM WALL. I've actually never asked them to be quiet before in the entire 2 years I've been here...

Here is our conversation:

Me: "Hey can yall turn that down a little? My bedroom is next to your speakers and I have to get up early tomorrow."

Chubby Girl: "Um, it's a party."

Me: "Obviously."

Chubs: "You can come!"

Me: "I'm kind of already there. I don't mind the party but just turn it down or move your speakers please. I have to get up really early, and your apartment isn't that big, I'm positive you could still hear it."

Jerkface Guy: "Well, its a BIRTHDAY party."

Me: (Blank stare)

Jerkface: "I can turn it down but I can't promise it will stay down. I mean, I don't live here, but this is a BIRTHDAY party."

Oh, excuse me. It's a BIRTHDAY party. Well, in that case.....don't mind me or my wanting to sleep or anything. But shame on you, #314, for throwing your friend a tacky apartment birthday party. My friends would never do that to me.

Postscript to "Ode to THE SWEATER"

Today is five weeks ago to the day that I lost THE SWEATER on an airplane.

And today, here I sit in 11F, the exact seat where I left it. I kid you not. Airtran is mocking me and my carelessness. I actually did a quick search as I took my cursed seat, hoping I would see it, but it's really gone.

What are the odds???

Trash Red

I first noticed this disturbing trend on Valentine's Day...at the bar in a very nice sushi place. I looked around and saw three women wearing various versions of this horrendous color I refer to as "TRASH RED."

I'd add a pic here, but due to variations in color in photos, lighting, and screen, I don't want to risk insulting the other shades of red. I'll just describe it as everything that can go wrong with red all rolled into one eye-offending shade: orange-y, cheap, faded, bad fabric...just vulgar.

It also makes the wearer appear cheap, vulgar, trashy, and easy. And much like an eyesore home in a ritzy neighborhood brings down property values, TRASH RED brings down any sort of label status your other garments may have. Prada, Chanel, Oscar de la Renta, Louis Vuitton...bah! You are no match for the TRASH RED.

I was sort of hoping these ladies were misguided in their attempts to theme out their outfits to match Valentines Day. But alas, I should have realized that three random girls in the same room wearing that exact shade was more than a coincidence. As I feared, TRASH RED is now a trend and many TRASH RED garments are being produced and are available to the public en masse.

Do not fall this ladies...I don't care how classy you are, no one can pull this off. The TRASH RED will make you look like a hussy.

To Compliment or Not to Compliment...

There is a lot of BAD FASHION out there (and I use the term "fashion" loosely).

I know most people don't set out to look bad, but unfortunately many do...so when someone nails it, I really try to go out of my way to compliment them, to encourage more of the same.

Yesterday at the gas station, this cute girl was pumping gas and at first glance, I thought she had a super-cute, classy little Audrey Hepburn ensemble going on. Little black ballet flats, a black cardigan buttoned with the hem of a bright turquoise top peeping out to brighten things up, fitted black pants...WAIT, ARE THOSE LEGGINGS???????!!!!! AHHHH!!!! (and I could see her butt-crack outline. HORRORS.)

So, 3/4 of her outfit was totally cute, but I withheld the compliment due to the one-layer-over-the-bum violation. As many a belle will tell you, leggings do not stand alone as pants.

Then later I felt guilty, because aside from that it was one of the cutest going-to-the-gas-station/running-errands looks I've seen here. After all, the standards for that sort of thing out here on the West Coast are pretty low. I mean, at least she was DRESSED.

Was I too harsh?

Oscar Notes

Things I would like to ban from next year's Awards show Red Carpets:

Shoes with ankle straps

Black dresses

Dresses that match the wearer's skin tone

Rain

Politics

Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice your...

I have a confession to make: I check out other girls' racks. Like, so much that I really couldn't get mad at a guy I was dating for doing the same thing. (Note to potential suitors: Its still a good idea to be discrete if you do it while you're with me. xoxo) I don''t think that we have the same motivation for checking them out, but I understand where poor dude is coming from.

I have no issues with my own assets, but I am really fascinated with girls who have huge breasts, real or faux, and that REALLY PUT IT OUT THERE. And then get mad at you for staring...

I saw two girls today while I was hiking, whom I'm 99.999% sure paid for their cup size (possibly a buy-two-get-two free scenario?) and had on probably the same size sports bra that I was wearing. How can anyone not stare at that?

Faux boobs defy gravity in the weirdest way...I can't help but wonder when they lay down at night if those things sit at attention as perkily as they do in their obviously unneccessary push-up bra. And most of the boob jobs I've seen have this odd crater-like cavern between them instead of normal cleavage. Famous people who can afford good doctors still come out looking like that...why don't they fix it? Is it just a hazard of shoving 5 lbs of silicone in a space created for 1lb of flesh, or was the doc just having an off day?

And why do girls who have fake boobs always flash everyone and invite everyone to touch their breasts when they get drunk at parties? Keep them to yourself ladies!!! Just because you paid $$$$ for them doesn't mean you should show them off to the world like you would a Tiffany bracelet. Although I've never taken any of these girls up on their offer to actually touch them, I DO have this inexplicable urge to poke one...will it pop? Bounce back? Break my fingernail?

I'm also amazed by women, faux or natural, who don't wear a bra but clearly need one. I could arguably get away with the no-bra thing for the most part, but wear one out of a sense of modesty and decency. Please don't advertise that you are wearing no underwear girls!

I saw another girl (they were OUT and ABOUT today, apparently) with what I'm fairly sure was natural size E or F or some such, and she had on a super-tight Tshirt that said HOOTERS in huge letters across her hooters. (Note: it was not a Hooters uniform nor were we in any close proximity to that restraunt).

I'm sorry, I have to stare at that. Just, WOW.

Faux-Real?

Last night I saw a girl in purple sequined ankle boots. As she walked past, I noticed a red sole and got really excited that they could be Louboutins. AND THEN, I saw the price-sticker residue marring said red soles. I am not kidding.

Can we just stop wearing fakes? If you have a real Gucci purse, then you are "that girl with the Gucci bag." Cool. Good for you. If you have an amazing no-label bag, then you're still "that girl with the gorgeous purse." But, if you have a faux Gucci, then you immediately downgrade yourself to, "that girl with the fake purse" and everyone will judge you. This is L.A., people. We know our labels.

Which girl do you want to be in this story?

Ode to The Sweater

February 15, 2010 is a day that will live in wardrobe infamy for me....it's the day my beloved cashmere sweater disappeared.

This was not just any sweater, it was The Sweater. Ladies, you know what I mean. That clothing item you'd run back to rescue if your house was on fire. It's irreplacable.

The description I entered into the online lost'n'found for Atlanta-Hartsfield International airport (Yes, I reported it missing. I'll never give up hope of being reunited with The Sweater) reads: "black long-sleeved cashmere sweater with one hook-and-eye closure and a Nordstrom tag." But it was so much more.

The Sweater was one of the first really expensive garments I bought when I got my first "good job." One of the most classy and versatile items I owned, it became a centerpiece in my wardrobe around which all my other outfits rotated...that sweater could complement anything. In the winter it doubled over a camisole as a top, and worked with skirts or jeans. In the summer it kept me cozy in frigid movie theaters and restraunts. It was soft, kept it's shape, and NEVER itched or pilled. I'm sure I'll never find another sweater like it.

I don't know exactly what happened to it, but the last time I remember having it was on the airplane to Atlanta. In my darker moments, I imagine that it may have fallen into the hands of the lady involved in the Coke vs. Arizona Tea disaster, or the klutzy flight attendant (instigator of said incident). But I prefer to imagine that The Sweater found it's way onto the back of someone really worthy of it, such as Victoria Beckham, the future winner of Project Runway, or at the very least, a fellow fashionista who appreciates good cashmere.

Goodbye, beloved Sweater. I must attempt to replace you, but I will never forget you.

Oops....I think

While on my most recent flight to Atlanta I got a coke from the flight attendant. As she handed it to me across the large woman in the middle seat, a little dribble occured during the transfer.

Although not completely my fault, I turned immediately to the woman to apologize and hand her a napkin....and she was sound asleep. I scrutinized the little coke-puddle on her white tee. It wasn't very big, and had already sort of soaked in.

I decided it would be really akward to wake her. What do you say? ("Excuse me Miss, sorry to disturb your nap, but in additon to waking you I just wanted to let you know I spilled coke all over your blouse."). So I just drank the coke really fast and got rid of the incriminating cup as fast as I could, way before she woke up.

Shortly before we landed, she DOUSED my pants and coat with her Arizona iced tea. She apologized profusely and offered me 2 napkins that disappeared immediately into the puddle on my seat.

I get it lady. Sorry. You got me good. I hope you feel better now.

And I hope that coke stain doesn't wash out!

Congrats to the Saints!

I was pulling for y'all based on:
My love of the fleur di lis
My love of your city
Your gold helmets and pants (the classiest and coolest football uniforms in the NFL)
...and who doesn't love a good, tear-jerking, inspiring a city-getting-back-on-its-feet story?

Perspective and inappropriate analogies

Why, when you are going through a really stressful time in your life, is it okay for people attempt to comfort you by saying something like, "Well, it could be worse, think of all the children starving in Africa," or something similar that has absolutely nothing to do with your situation. Has that statement EVER made anyone feel better?

Also, why, when your superiors are going through a very stressful time at work, is it definitely not okay to say something like, "Well, it could be worse, think of all the companies that actually went out of business this year."

I'm just wondering. I didn't actually say that. Out loud.

Miss America 2010

Its been a while since I strutted my tanned, toned, tucked, pulled, squeezed, and sprayed stuff on a pageant stage, but I still watch Miss America religiously. Here are my thoughts, musings, and comments on this year's show:

Miss America's camo-military dress worn as a shout-out to the troops was henious. I appreciate the thought, but couldn't they just drape her in a flag or something?

You can always count on Miss Hawaii to dance the hula.

It's not a talent competition without someone singing "O Mio Babbino Caro"

Yay for all the cute blondes in the finals!

# of Top Ten that turned their onstage question into a "Why I'd be a great Miss America" monologue: 3

Thank goodness most of them have stopped turning themselves orange with tanner.

Singing still seems to be the "fall-back" talent...but dancers are definitely more entertaining to watch.

Damn! I was pulling for Miss Tennessee...but congrats Virginia! Have a great year!

***And I really think this song (while I freely admit to loving it in this post) was kinda inappropriate for the finale song of a pageant with so much talk of being role models and such...

The Best of Sky Mall

After all the cross-country flights I've done over the last year and a half, I can't believe it took me this long to pick up a copy of Sky Mall. Here's some of the awesome products I've been missing out on:

The Slanket (the Snuggie's trashy cousin?)
The Indoor Dog Restroom (fake grass on top of a tray)
Wrist cell phone carrier (strap your cell phone to your wrist?!)
Potty Rock (again for dogs)
Litter Kwitter--potty train your cat!
Footed Pajamas

Dang. If only I'd discovered this before Christmas...

Golden Globes

Since there are about 589 versions of The Best/Worst Dressed List for the Golden Globes, I'm not going to put another one out there. I just have two notes:

Please stop wearing beige dresses...especially if you're white (in the Caucasian sense, not as in I-really-need-a-tan. Pale is the new tan :-)

I'm really over Halle Berry looking AMAZING all the time. It's honestly getting a little dull...shake it up for the SAG awards Halle. I challenge you to to fashion-disasterdom! There has got to be at least one dress in this world you can't pull off...find it! If not, at least go a few sizes to small.

Miley is sooo 2009...

Queen Miley reigned supreme in 2009 with "Party in the U.S.A."

Admit it...you pretended to think it was annoying but you secretly downloaded it and rocked out in your car by yourself, and you know every word.

But even the most catchy tween-pop songs can get overplayed, and we now have a new embarrassingly awesome jam to love but pretend to hate for 2010.

This song.

The video is horrendous, but I dare you to get this song out of your head.

Also, does anyone else think this chick vs. Avril Lavigne would be the best girl-fight ever?

2009 College Football Season Obituary

This football season started optimistically for me, and quickly turned ugly. My Dawgs tumbled from their precariously high perch in the rankings early in the season, and my secondary love Auburn soon followed...the downward spiral continued throughout the fall until I finally found myself today in what my family would consider the 7th Circle of Hell, A.K.A. 5 hours trapped in an airplane full of Bama fans.

The final nail in the coffin, so to speak, is giving up precious sleep time my poor jet-lagged body craved to watch Alabama win a national title. Yes, I'm "going rogue" as an SEC fan in not pulling for my conference, but I was trained to hate Alabama from early childhod, much the same way I imagine the Isrealites and Palestinians train their young, so I really have no choice.

R.I.P. 2009 Football Season...you will not be missed.