I'm breaking up with Nordstrom

Dear Nordstrom @ the Grove,

Um, WHERE are the petite dresses? Who decided it was okay to eliminate that section? What am I supposed to wear to work now, PANTS???? This is not okay with me. Not cool at all. Way to discriminate against short people.

Grrrrrr,

Me

P.S. If this is some manipulative plot to force me to use your alterations department, you can forget it.

De-coding Dress Codes

I've always been under the impression that "dress code" was an attempt to help people choose an appropriate outfit and show up feeling like a million bucks, or at least wear something they knew would be in keeping with the event/restruant/party they are attending so as not to embarrass themselves or make others uncomfortable.

If you're from the South, you probably also had the added benefit of education by your mom/grandmother, even dad who would let you know in no uncertain terms if you were inappropriately dressed and would NOT let you leave the house until you were...(One of the most embarrassing incidents of my teenage years was my dad telling me he could see my PINK BRA through my dress and to either change that or the dress immediately).

Anyway, Dress Codes are apparently not what they used to be...instead of clarifying what to wear, they just seem to make it more difficult...here are some I've encountered just over the last year:

Dressy Casual (my favorite oxymoron)

Cocktail Casual

Hollywood Sexy (huh?)

Smart Casual

Casual Sophistication

"Festive" (this gives me nightmares)

Retro Cocktail Chic (is it a costume party?)

Smart Elegant

Texas Black Tie (belt buckle, spurs, cowboy hat with a tux? Maybe?)

Comfortable Cocktail (?)

I feel we could debate the meaning of any one of these for hours and come up with no solid answer.

No wonder celebrities have such a hard time on the red carpet these days.

Check one off my Fashionista Bucket List

I have always had a "list" of look-enhancing things I want to try...it includes such things as laser treatments, mink eyelash extensions, super expensive beauty creams, etc. So naturally I was THRILLED when my stylist offered to put in hair extensions for my birthday. Those have been on the list for years.

Since Mark, the Stylist Extraordinaire, and I are separated by a continent and I trust no one else to touch my hair, I hesitated for a second when he broke out the glue...I've never done anything more permanent than highlights to my look and I like to be versatile. But I was really sure I wanted to try them, so he put them in and they looked amazing!!!

But then reality set in. The first time was when I washed my hair...it pulled and hurt like when your mama combs your hair when you're 5 and being bratty during bath time.

I then realized I had severely limited my hairstyling options to the two that don't show where the extensions are attached...down and low pony tail. Also, I can't air dry my hair because my real hair and the extensions dry differently. Bottom line...they're really fun, but the party's over and I want them out.

But alas, the extensions are not budging. Mark told me acetone and oil will break down the glue, so every time I wash my hair I attack them with nail polish remover and a hot oil treatment. So far, the extensions are winning. I know eventually they will surrender. I just hope they don't take the hair they're attached to with them (although Mark assures me this will not happen).

So the verdict is that I love the extensions, but in a hot-summer-fling sort of way. And right now, baby, I need my space. If I can ever disentangle myself from this relationship, I will definitely stick to the clip-in kind next time. Because at the end of the day, the version of me I love the most is me au naturale.

**This experience has definitely settled the "should-I-or shouldn't-I-get-a-boob-job" question once and for all.